TheWeevilDead watches a movie in which Wallace turns into a Walrus, and it’s equal parts disturbing as hell, and hilarious.
When I sat down to watch this movie last year, I’ll be honest, I did not finish it. I had no idea who was in it besides Justin Long (who I will vouch for, and support in anything he is in). To be honest, this movie was not my vibe, I was half watching it, half reading, and I got to about the end, but my movie ADD kicked in, and the feeling of “meh” creeped over me. But I knew the image alone of Justin Long as a Walrus would send my friend into a fitful sleepless night, so I did what any best friend would do, I showed her a Google image immediately, “Isn’t this f***** up???” I got the reaction I wanted, a scream with a swear, and my job was done. This movie was weird, and I knew it was messed up, but I wasn’t personally moved like I should have been. I mean these movies are the kind I dig, and all I could think was “meh”? That was about a year ago, and as time went on, I forgot about this movie…. until recently.
This movie crept into my subconscious when I saw some promo for Yoga Hosiers, this movie looks dumb (no offense Kevin Smith) but I started to think about Tusk. That movie deserved another shot, and a solid, sit-down watch. So, I plugged in the HDMI and made some coffee, and gave it another go.
Again, Justin Long is my dude. He’s hilarious in everything, and I’m pretty confident that we would be BFF’s in real life. In the movie, Justin Long (Wallace) is a douche who has a podcast with his friend, Teddy or Haley Joel Osment (who ends up to be sleeping with his girlfriend). The podcast is called The Not-See Party, and they pretty much make fun of people who are unfortunate. Wallace travels to Canada to interview a kid who was “internet famous” for cutting off his leg, until Wallace comes to find out the kid killed himself after all the hate he got. Well now, Wallace, ever the ass, won’t leave Canada without a story. He comes across a note on a board in a bar about a man seeking someone to board in his mansion, in exchange for company. This man also promises to have numerous stories of adventure he’d like to tell. So, Wallace goes. He meets the man of the house, Howard Howe, who makes a very strong tea RED FLAG and tells of an adventure with Ernest Hemingway, which in all honesty is a badass story about the beach in Normandy. Eventually Howard tells the story of being stranded in the ocean with his only companion being a walrus, who saved him, until Howard had to eat him for survival…….RED FLAG. Howard craves this relationship he had with “MISTER TUSK” again RED FLAG, and we start to feel like there might be a chance Wally is who he has in mind. Keep in mind this is all very humorous, it’s hard to explain, but trust me it is. Have I ever steered you wrong yet? Eventually dear Wally passes out, and WAKES UP WITH NO LEG.
I won’t give away any more of the plot, but this is my final thought. I’m glad I gave the movie another shot. It is great entertainment, funny, gross, and leaves me thinking “what did I just witness?” I love movies that make me question my morals.