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I tried to watch three other movies before I found one I could sit through. Netflix is letting me down lately. I can’t even bring myself to review the one movie we actually sat through as I’m embarrassed to tell you I watched it! (Really! I refuse to say!)
So, anyway, I settled in determined to find something I could stomach and then came across Wreckage (2010). I decided to give it a shot because everyone’s favorite meth dealer – Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) – is in it. I’m a huge Breaking Bad fan (A different type of horror, don’t you think?), and Jesse was my favorite character, so I was curious to see what we had here.
I’ll start off by saying that this isn’t a bad movie. There’s nothing new or different here, but there is some decent acting. Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot for the actors to work with in regard to the script. A lot of it is pretty darn cheesy and clichéd, but Aaron Paul turns in a good performance as Rick. Scoot McNairy also offers some hilarious commentary as junkyard steward/handyman Frank, and Cameron Richardson is fine as Kate, though she does little besides yell… and bleed.
Note: There are potential spoilers throughout this review, so you may want to stop here and return after watching the movie.
The movie starts off with two little scenes. In the first, two little boys are watching TV, and their mother’s jerk of a boyfriend comes in. He treats the boys badly, smacking the older one, when suddenly, little Ricky pulls out a gun and shoots the jerk! And his Mom too!
Fast forward to a desolate road and a pretty young girl in a busted up car. Creepy guy pulls up, and he basically tells her she has a choice – He’s going to rape her or stab her. Either way, he’s going to hear her scream. What a guy! She escapes to a junkyard, and just as creepy guy is about to stab her, someone gets to him first, and he utters the best line of the movie:
“Must be your lucky night, sweetheart!”
And then we get what is perhaps the longest opening credits of any movie I have ever seen. I’m not kidding. It was even longer than Speed’s – which was like, what… half the movie?! OK. Anyway… The credits finally end, and we meet Jared and Kate, a pretty, young couple that has just gotten engaged. We also get to meet Rick (Jesse!) and Jess, a less pretty couple that is expecting a baby.
Jared (Mike Erwin) has a great old car that he apparently likes to race. Cut to the race… Something goes horribly wrong because we hear a loud pop, Jared cusses, and we see lots of smoke. After, Jared and the driver of the other car exchange a few words. Jared and the rest of the gang find themselves stranded since Jared chose to mouth off and let the other driver speed off. Since pregnant Jess (Kelly Kruger) refuses to walk the four miles to town, they instead opt to head to the junkyard to see if they can find the parts to repair the smoking car.
Dun! Dun! DUN! (Or Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!)
You know what’s coming… except you don’t! Cause Rick accidentally shoots Kate. (Or was it an accident…?) Jared is freaking out, and he decides to do the manly thing and run the now five miles to town (See, town was four miles one way, but they decided to walk a mile the other way… five miles!) to get help, ’cause you don’t get cell reception in a junkyard (of course!).
Oh, did I forget to mention there is an escaped convict on the loose too? Well, there is!
Well, Jared makes it to town in record time. Flashes of Kate’s lovely face and the shiny ring he just bought for her keep him going, and when he gets there, he rallies the sheriff and his deputy to head out with him – that is, after they call the doctor and the sweet paramedic (Bevin Prince).
Of course, what our hopeful heroes find isn’t unusual – nothing! Kate’s gone. Rick’s gone. And Jess is gone too. And what we have next is our hero, Jared, who we learn is a former Army Ranger, running around with his head cut off (No, not literally!) looking for Kate. Yes, some people die, one unexpectedly, and we have a bit of blood. We get a short stand off between Jared and our masked killer, but then they find Rick and apparently all is well. Go figure!
After delivering Rick to the doctor and the deputy that will accompany them to the hospital, and they leave, we hear someone calling for help.
Wait! What is this? A handsome stranger is carrying an unconscious Kate. Where did he come from? Where was she? The sheriff springs into action, telling Jared to put his lady love in his cruiser, and they will rush her to the hospital. Unfortunately, it would seem that our good Samaritan is actually… Yep, you guessed it – the escaped convict. The convict stabs the sheriff in the leg (What a jerk! The sheriff was giving him a ride!), and the sheriff decides to deputize Jared (He doesn’t, but I mean, he tells Jared to get him. So same thing, right?). After a short fight, in which the convict proclaims his innocence, Jared kills him (‘Cause that’s what he does. He’s badass, remember?), and the sheriff seems cool with that. Stabbing someone in the leg will give them that sort of attitude I suppose.
There is a “twist” at the end, and I say it like that because if you pay attention with even half an ear, it’s pretty easy to figure out what this “twist” is. Though it was very predictable, and the movie was one cliché after another, it certainly isn’t the crapfest that I made my very patient husband sit through last night. (OK. I’ll tell you. It was Shark Week (2012)! No, not the Discovery Channel event of the year. I’m talking about this mess. Now you know my dark secret!) Everyone did fine with the uninspired script, and I even chuckled at a few of the scenes with Frank.
At only 85 minutes, it’s a short film, and you could certainly do worse. If you have some time to kill (Maybe it’s raining outside!), this movie isn’t a complete waste.
2 1/2 blown gaskets out of five.
